- If you attend ritual skyclad because it's too much trouble to get dressed for a computer.
- If your priest robes conceal a pocket protector...
- If your altar has a keyboard...
- If you've had to remove candle wax off your keyboard.
- If your technician compains about the wax and incense ash on your motherboard...
- If you use a remote control in place of an athame.
- If your athame has a SCSI interface...
- If your magic wand is a light pen...
- If your candles have batteries...
- If your cauldron is a crock-pot...
- If your chimes are electronic...
- If your incense is by Glade...
- If you've tried to use your mouse as a pendulum...
- If you charge your ritual tools with a Visa.
- If your herbs are always mail-ordered (express, overnight)...
- If you download your book of shadows.
- If you cast your circle in a chat room.
- If your OBE's begin with a netsplit...
- If you calculate the phases of the moon with software or Windows '95...
- If drawing down a circle is a POST (power on self test) ...
- If you call the Watch Towers (your corners) on your cellular phone...
- If you do most of your correspondence by email and sign off with Blessed Be...
- If you don't call it a ritual, you call it a Macro...
- If you end a circle with Ctl-Alt-Del...
- If you have ever attached ribbons to a May Pole using a staple gun...
- If you invite the God and Goddess to come online...
- If you keep a Disk of Shadows (with encrypted backups)...
- If you participate in online rituals more than you do FTF...
- If you refer to eclectic ritual as cross-platforming...
- If your deities include Murphy and Gates...
- If your drumming is done on a CD player (pre-recorded)...
- If your idea of a great retreat has a Computer City, electricity, and a TV nearby...
- If your magical name, email address, and online name are all the same...
- If your magical writing is done in binary code or C++...
- If your pentacle is made of computer chips...
- If, instead of asking what tradition someone comes from, you ask what operating system they run...
- If your Yule ritual involves defragmentation...
- If your coven is spread over a 12,000 sq. mi. area...
- If your Book of Shadows has a 6-digit version number...
- If you refer to deities using 3-letter acronyms (ODN, LKI, THR)...
- If you do cord magick with ethernet...
- If you ritually down your server for Samhain...
- If your altar cloth is a mouse pad...
- If, when your quarter candles burn out, the UPS backup system kicks in...
- If erecting the temple entails formatting more than 4 disks...
- If casting the circle changes an (int) to a (float)...
- If your Star Trek screen-saver signals when your meditation period is over ...
- If your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group...
- If passing the cakes and ale entails using a /me command...
- If your search for truth involves regular expressions...
- If your familiar is a mouse...
- If you draw down the moon using a light-pen...
- If your cone of power has a surge suppressor...
- If your tarot cards multi-task...
- If your daemons collect news for you...
- If your crystal ball has a horizontal-hold control...
- If you refer to solitary practice as a "stand alone"...
- If you tap into the collective unconscious using Netscape/a web browser...
- If your favorite deity has a homepage...
- If the address of your covenstead begins with http:// ...
- If your circle is a token ring...
Feel free to e-mail additions. E-mail us at molly@moonlovers.com with suggestions/additions.
